iNeed Help
by waterprincess615
Summary: Sam's got a problem and she seeks help from someone she least expects. Seddie shipping, Rated T because it's a little angsty. I do not own iCarly or any of its characters.
1. Chapter 1: Sam's Secret

It was Saturday morning. As usual Sam had spent the night with Carly. Spencer emerged sleepily from his room. He absentmindedly opened the bathroom door and seeing Sam there began to apologize and back out. Then he stopped and stared at her. Sam remained frozen with a look of fear in her eyes.

"Oh my God! Sam! What are you doing?"

Sam dropped the razor blade from her hand and bolted from the bathroom nearly knocking Spencer over. She headed toward the front door and bumped into Freddie just as he was about to walk in. The collision knocked her backwards onto the floor. Spencer ran into the room and abruptly stopped when he saw Sam on the ground and Freddie in the doorway.

"Sam, I'm so sorry. I didn't see you. Are you alright?" Freddie asked.

Sam looked from Freddie to Spencer and began to cry. Freddie stared at her in shock. He put down the laptop he was carrying. Spencer walked over to her.

"It's okay, kiddo. I've got ya. Freddie, can you grab the first aid kit from the counter and bring it to the bathroom?" Spencer scooped Sam up in his arms and carried her to the bathroom. Freddie grabbed the first aid kit and followed.


	2. Chapter 2: In the Bathroom

Spencer set Sam on the edge of the bathtub and sat on the toilet seat next to her. He took a hold of her wrist and began to clean the blood off her arm with a wet washcloth. Freddie walked in and caught sight of Sam's bloody arm.

"Sam, what happened? Did I do that when I bumped into you?" Freddie asked alarmed.

Sam just stared down at her arm in silence.

"Freddie, could you hand me the gauze?" Spencer asked, throwing the wash cloth in the sink.

As Freddie handed over the gauze he noticed the bloody razor blade on the sink. He sighed, realizing the situation. He grabbed some toilet paper and wrapped up the blade before tossing it into the trash. Then he went and sat beside Sam on the tub and wrapped his arm around her. Sam remained motionless and silent, still staring at her arm as Spencer wrapped it up.

"I don't know what you were thinking, but what you did was stupid, and..."

Before he could finish, Freddie cut him off. "Spencer, stop! It's not the time. Yelling at her is not going to help."

Spencer sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry, Sam. I just got so worked up when I saw you hurting yourself. Listen, I'll leave you alone. But you know that if you want to talk, I'm always here for you. Always."

Sam meekly nodded her head. Spencer picked up the garbage can and left the room.

An awkward silence lingered. Sam still had not averted her gaze from her arm. Freddie thought hard about what he could say next. Deciding that it was best to shift the subject he asked, "Are you hungry? I could make some breakfast." Sam turned to stare at him looking bemused. "Right. Dumb question. Of course you're hungry. You're always hungry." Sam smiled and let Freddie help her up from the tub. She pulled her sleeves down and followed him to the kitchen.


	3. Chapter 3:In the Kitchen

Sam sat on a barstool as Freddie headed toward the fridge. He pulled out some eggs, milk, and bread. Carly came downstairs wiping the sleep from her eyes. Yawning, she said good morning to Sam and Freddie.

"Want some French toast?" Freddie asked her.

"Sounds good," she replied.

Sam stared silently at the counter. She had been grateful that Freddie had chosen not to converse with her, but she couldn't keep quiet around Carly without her thinking something was up.

Carly sat on the stool next to Sam and brought up her email on the computer. Freddie put a glass of juice in front of Sam and another in front of Carly. "Thanks," said Carly inattentively. She drank her juice while checking the iCarly fan mail. She didn't seem to notice when Freddie brought the French toast over and piled three times as much onto Sam's plate. Sam smiled at Freddie. She was actually glad it had been him who sat in the bathroom with her instead of Carly. She couldn't imagine Carly handling this situation quite as smoothly as Freddie was.

"Hey, check out this vid these guys sent us." Carly exclaimed.

"What is it?" Freddie had sat down on the stool right next to Sam. Without looking away from the computer screen, he gently put his hand on Sam's knee. She closed her eyes at the touch. His hand lingered only for a moment, but it felt like hours. Carly was too busy watching the video to notice. Two boys in the video were jumping on moon bounce balls while twirling hula hoops on their arms. "That's some talent," Freddie said. "Uh – huh," Sam added.

Carly read some more of their fan mail, choosing to read some aloud in between bites of her toast. Freddie and Sam interjected random comments to show they were listening. Carly finished eating and announced her was going to shower. "Maybe we can all go to the mall later. I heard Build – A – Bra was having a sale," said Carly. "Wow! That sounds fabulous!" Freddie replied sarcastically. "Freddie, you need some guy friends," Carly laughed as she headed upstairs. "Don't I know it," Freddie replied.

With Carly gone, Sam suddenly became very aware of Freddie's presence and how close he was seated to her. He continued to munch silently on is toast, throwing occasional glances at Sam. She knew he was waiting for her to say something first. The tension was getting thicker by the second so she finally blurted out, "Everyone hates me!"

Freddie looked taken aback. He put down his fork. "What?"

"No one loves me." Her eyes began to well up again. "My father abandoned me. My mother barely acknowledges my existence. My twin sister could care less about me. I have no real friends. People just pretend to be my friend because they're afraid of me."

"But Carly..." Freddie began.

"Carly only became my friend cause she pitied me for having no friends and she's only stayed my friend because she doesn't want me to end up in jail."

"But I'm your..." Freddie tried to interrupt.

"You're only here because you're in love with Carly."

"That's not true!" Freddie exclaimed. Sam gave him a look.

"Okay, so I have been in love with Carly. But I've realized it's never going to happen. I don't just hang out here to be with Carly. I consider you one my best friends, Sam even though you beat me to a pulp, but not because of it. And I really hate seeing you in so much pain like this."

Sam began to cry again. "It just hurts so much," she whispered through her tears.

Freddie pulled his stool closer and straddled his legs around her stool. He pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. Sam squeezed him and sobbed into his shirt. He rubbed her back and tried to soothe her. "It's okay, Sam. It's alright."

After awhile Sam sat back up and wiped her tears on her sleeves. She sniffled and half laughed as Freddie began to dab her face with a napkin. "I'm such a mess. I don't want Carly to see me this way."

Freddie got up and got a cloth from the drawer under the sink. He ran it under cold water and brought it back over. He held it under Sam's eyes and on her cheeks. "Helps the blood vessels," he said in response to Sam's questioning face. She put her hand over his and smiling, took hold of the cloth. "Thanks," she said, "for everything."

"Of course." Freddie smiled. He cleared the plates from the counter and put them in the sink.

Carly came downstairs brushing her hair. Sam announced she was going to shower and headed upstairs past Carly.

"Coming to the mall with us, Freddie?"

"Yeah, lemme go let my mom know where I'm going."


	4. Chapter 4: Freddie's Room

Carly, Sam, and Freddie entered Carly's apartment later that afternoon clutching bags. The trip was not as bad as Sam had expected, though she did have to distract Carly so did not see the clearance rack of tank tops. She knew Carly would find one to make Sam try on and would want to see it on her. She was always badgering Sam about wearing long sleeves all the time. Instead, they each had bought a new pair of shoes and some bras, and Freddie had bought a new flash drive,

Suddenly Sam's phone beeped indicating she had a text message. It was from Freddie telling her that his mom was out running errands for the next few hours and that if she wanted to come over to talk, she could.

"Whose the text from?" Carly asked.

"My mom," Sam lied. "I've gotta get home. See you guys later."

"Bye Sam."

"I should get going too," Freddie said.

"Later, Freddie."

Sam was waiting around the corner in the hall for Freddie to come out. She followed him into his apartment.

Freddie led Sam to his bedroom which was on the 2nd floor. His apartment was practically identical to Carly's except that it was backwards and there was no elevator. She had expected his room to be full of nerd stuff, like tech equipment and posters from Galaxy Wars. Instead, it was actually fairly sophisticated. His bed was a solid royal blue color. He had a desktop computer on the desk in the corner. A T.V. sat on the dresser across from his bed. There were only two posters on the wall. One was for iCarly and the other was one advertising the match between Carly and Shelby Marx. Next to his desk was a cork board filled with photos. Sam got closer and noticed most of them were of the trio. As Sam glanced at the pictures, Freddie joined her side.

"That one is my favorite." The photo he was pointing to was the three of them at the iWeb award show in Japan. Sam was in the middle with both of her arms around Carly and Freddie. Carly had a hold of the award they just won and all three of them were caked in mud. It was obvious from the picture that the photographer had caught a shot right while Sam was in the middle of laughing. "I love the face you're making in that one," Freddie said. Sam couldn't help but smile looking at the picture.

Snapping back to the present, Sam walked away from the pictures and sat down on the edge of Freddie's bed. "You're not going to tell anyone, are you?" she asked nervously.

"Sam, I'm not going to tell Carly, but I can't promise you I won't tell a counselor unless you promise to talk this over with someone."

"Can I talk to you?" she asked sheepishly.

"Of course you can," he said as he sat beside her.

She stared at the floor for a couple minutes, scrunching her face up like she was about to talk, but then changing her mind at the last second. She finally gave up and flopped backwards onto the bed letting out an exasperated sigh. Freddie lied down next to her and they both stared at the ceiling. "We don't have to talk right now."

"It's too quiet in here," she said. "We need to talk about something."

"Fried chicken?" he laughed.

Sam turned to him and smiled. She propped her head up on her hand and asked, "You don't think Spencer will tell Carly, do you? He's not very good at keeping secrets."

"I think he will keep quiet about this one. It's pretty huge," he replied.

"Yeah. I probably should apologize to him. I think I really freaked him out."

"Oh, you're gonna go back to Carly's then?"

Sam was surprised by the disappointment in his voice. "No, not right now. I'm hanging out with you."

Freddie smiled. There was an awkward moment of silence so Freddie poked her in the nose and make a strange noise that sounded like a wounded sheep. She responded by poking him in the stomach and mooing. He laughed and started repeatedly poking her in the stomach trying to tickle her. She squealed with laughter. Freddie had practically pinned her down and she was laughing so hard that tears were coming out of her eyes. She tried to beg Freddie to stop but could not quite get the words out through the squeals.

"Freddie...I...hafta....pee!" she choked out, still in hysterics. This only made Freddie tickler her harder. After this morning, he was thrilled to see that these were tears of joy in her eyes, and not those of pain.

"Freddie...I'm.....serious...stop!"

"You don't sound too serious, Freddie laughed.

"No...really...I...need to.....pee!"

Freddie pretended not to hear her and endured with the tickling session. Suddenly, her expression changed. She stopped laughing and forcefully pushed Freddie off of her. He landed hard on the floor.

He jumped to his feet. "Hey, what was that for?...Oh..."

Sam was sitting now, looking mortified. Freddie stared in disbelief as he realized what happened. There was a large dark patch on Sam's red stretch pants and a huge wet spot on the blanket under her.

"I...um..." she stammered. "I couldn't hold it...it just started coming out...and I couldn't stop it."

Freddie thought she looked like a shameful puppy sitting there like that. He walked over to the dresser and opened a drawer. He pulled out a pack of unopened boxers. He handed a pair of green ones to Sam. "Here, change into these and I'll wash the blankets. And you can give me your wet clothes and I'll wash those too."

"Thanks," she muttered as she headed toward the bathroom. Freddie began stripping the bed. As Sam walked away, Freddie was suddenly very thankful his mom did not allow any sharp objects in the house because he was pretty sure Sam was feeling tempted right now.

She returned a minute later clad in Freddie's boxers and holding her wet clothes. She followed him downstairs to the back of the apartment where the washer and dryer were. Freddie loaded the machine while Sam leaned against the dryer. "How badly did I ruin your mattress?"

"Not at all, actually. I used to wet the bed so my mom still makes me put a plastic sheet on it, just in case." He suddenly seemed taken aback by his own willingness to share this information with anyone, especially a girl. Sam raised her eyebrows at him. Then she smiled. "Good thing you were a bedwetter. I mean, good for me anyways." Freddie laughed. "The laundry will be awhile. Let's go find some food. C'mon," he said. Sam followed Freddie to the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5: Foodstuffs

Freddie made some chicken noodle soup and fried up a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches while Sam spun around on one of the barstools. He set food in front of her and sat down opposite her at the counter. She smiled and began to slurp her soup appreciatively. Freddie dunked his sandwich into his soup and asked the question that had been burning in his mind for quite some time.

"Sam, why are you always so mean to me?"

Sam looked up from her bowl and put her spoon down. "Well, I guess it just started out that way because I didn't want you hanging around Carly."

"Why not?"

"Cause I was worried that Carly would like you and start dating you and forget about me. You were a threat."

"Wait, wait, wait, _you_ were jealous of _me_?!"

"Yeah, well, that was before I realized how much of a nerd you were and that there was no chance of Carly ever dating you. But by then making fun of you was a habit and I enjoyed it, so why stop?"

Freddie smiled. "Can I ask you something else?"

"Free country," she replied.

"Remember that say those prisoners taped us up?"

"Nope. Can't say as I do," she answered sarcastically. She could already sense what he was about to ask her.

"You never answered Carly's question because Spencer interrupted. What was your answer?"

"Question?" she asked innocently.

He gave her a furtive look. "Carly asked you if you liked the kiss. You know, the kiss between you and me. On the fire escape."

"Oh that kiss. Right."

"Sam!"

"Ok, ok." She paused for a moment. Freddie had been amazing to her today. There was no way she could lie to him with a straight face about this. But what would his reaction be? Deciding she had been humiliated so much today thought she might as well just add this to the list. "Yes," she sighed.

"Yes?" he asked unsure what the 'yes' was referring to.

"Yes, I liked it." She drew out the word 'like' as if it was really difficult to pronounce.

"You liked it?" he repeated.

"Did I stutter?" she asked. She stared at her sandwich plate, not wanting to see his reaction.

"Me too."

She was not at all expecting this reaction from him. "You liked it?" she asked in disbelief.

"Did I stutter?" he said mockingly.

"Oh, uh, well, cool," she said, nodding her head. "This is good soup."

Freddie chuckled. "I'm glad you like it."


	6. Chapter 6: The End of a Good Day

They finished their food and Freddie transferred the laundry to the dryer. Mrs. Benson came home and was shocked to find a girl with Freddie in the apartment, especially since that girl was Sam. And also since that girl was wearing Freddie's boxers. Sam spoke up before Freddie had the chance to explain. She told his mom that they had been paired together for a science project and that she had spilled stuff all over his blanket and on her and that was why she was in his boxers. Mrs. Benson's only reaction was that Freddie should know better than to be doing dangerous science experiments in his bedroom. She fussed over him a few more minutes before allowing them to return upstairs.

Mrs. Benson followed them up a moment later with clean sheets for Freddie's bed. As she spread them out, Sam noticed they were covered with pictures from 'Galaxy Wars.' "There's the nerd Freddie I know," she chuckled to herself. After his mom left, Freddie put in "Curly Cow: The Movie" and they lied in his bed to watch it. They stopped halfway through to take the laundry out, but Sam had decided that his boxers were so comfortable she wasn't going to change out of them.

After "Curly Cow," they watched "Boogie Bear 3: Return of Boogie Bear." Freddie realized how much he enjoyed listening to Sam laugh. He really did not want this day to end. He never had the chance to hang out with Sam like this, just the two of them. She actually seemed much more pleasant this way.

As the movie ended, Sam said, "It's getting late. I should probably head home. My mom will notice I'm missing when she goes looking for help shaving her back." Freddie cringed. "Yeah, think how I feel. I'm the one doin' the shavin." Freddie laughed. Sam smiled at him. She had already changed back into her clothes and was standing in his bedroom doorway.

"You know, as suckish as today has been, it was also pretty sweet. I had fun."

"So did I," Freddie replied.

"I will see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, bye Sam."

Sam smiled and started to walk down the hall. Freddie turned back toward his room and then changing his mind turned back to walk down the hall. Sam was standing there again. Freddie's face lit up.

"I forgot something," she said. Freddie's smile quickly faded.

Sam grabbed him by the shirt collar and pulled him into a kiss. Their lips locked for only a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime.

"Ok, well, goodnight Fredward!"

"G'night Sam."

Then Freddie closed the door and smiled.


	7. Chapter 7: Monday

I know I marked this story as complete, but I saw some more of the story in my head so here it is. Please review!

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Sam arrived at school on Monday to find Freddie standing by Carly's locker. She slowed her pace and approached them feeling rather awkward.

Carly greeted her cheerfully and Sam relaxed. It was obvious from Carly's demeanor that Freddie hadn't told her anything about what had happened.

"Hey, I have an idea for iCarly to run past you guys. Can we meet at the Groovy Smoothie after school to talk it over or do you have detention?" Carly asked jokingly.

Sam smiled. "No, I don't have detention."

"Yet," Freddie replied. Sam smiled sheepishly.

"Alright. Well, I'll see you guys later then," Carly said and headed down the hallway.

Sam walked past Freddie and opened her locker. She threw her jacket inside and shut it. She tried not to make any eye contact with Freddie who had been trying to focus on anything else in the hallway.

"Can I walk you to class?" he asked.

Sam looked at him with a bizarre expression. Those words did not seem to fit with Freddie's face since he was saying them to her. "Uh. Sure? I guess so."

"Ok," he responded and led the way down the hall. He was thankful Sam never brought any books to class so he didn't have to ask her if she wanted him to carry them. He already felt stupid about asking her if he could walk her to class. He had spent all yesterday thinking about what to say to her today, but those seemed to be the only words he could make out for now.

They stopped outside her homeroom. "Well, this is me."

"Yeah," he said.

"Yeah," she replied. There was an awkward silence. "Well, I guess I should probably go sit down."

"Yeah," he said.

"Uh, thanks for walking me to class."

"Right. You're welcome. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah, next period. Science."

"Oh, yeah, of course. So I'll see you then." He walked away to homeroom and Sam went to her seat.

She was feeling so confused. She couldn't stop thinking about Freddie ever since she kissed him. Thoughts raced through her mind as her teacher began to take attendance. "Do I like him? Or was it just because he was being nice to me? No, I like him. Maybe. Yes. I like him. I really like him. A lot. Does he like me? He did kiss me back. What if he just did it because he was pitying me? Yeah. That was probably it. He doesn't actually like me. He just feels sorry for me. He's just going to keep being nice to me because he probably thinks that if he's not, I'll go off the deep end. God, I'm so stupid for thinking he actually liked me." Before she realized it, tears were rolling down her cheeks. She tried to wipe them off with her sleeve, but the other kids around her had already heard her sniffling.

"Sam? Are you alright?" her teacher asked.

Sam pushed her chair back and raced out of the room. She ran to the bathroom and sat down in a stall. A moment later, she heard the door open.

"Sam? Are you in here? It's Wendy. Ms. Murdock wanted me to come check on you."

"I'm in here," Sam responded. Wendy opened the stall door.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying?"

"It's nothing."

"C'mon, Sam. You can tell me. I won't tell anyone."

Sam looked up at her. "You promise you won't tell?"

"Yeah, of course. What is it?"

"It's Freddie," she said slowly.

"Benson? What about him? Did he handcuff you to another nerd again?"

"No. He didn't do anything. It's what I did. I mean." She shook her head and sighed. "I like him."

Wendy stared at her with an unchanged expression. "And?"

"What do you mean, 'and?', that's it. I like Freddie."

"I already knew that. Everybody knows that," Wendy replied.

"What?! How could everybody know? I didn't even know!"

Wendy shrugged. "Sorry. I guess we all just sort of figured you did since you're always picking on him and you guys spend every single waking moment together."

"Well, yeah, we do a webshow together. So we kind of have to hang out."

"Whatever," Wendy replied. "All I'm saying is that you pick on him more than anyone else and you guys are always together. So, naturally, everyone thought you liked him."

"Wait, does Carly know?" Sam asked.

"Probably. She is your best friend, isn't she? She probably knew before everyone else did."

Sam's eyes widened. She stood up and walked to the sinks. "The whole school knows I like Freddie. I like Freddie." She turned to Wendy. "Oh my God, I like Freddie Benson."

Wendy laughed. "Guess so."

"Does Freddie know I like him?"

"I don't know. I don't really talk to him all that much. I doubt it though. Boys are pretty clueless. But I guess since most everybody else knows, I'm sure at least one person has asked him about it."

Sam put her face in her hands. She shook her head. "I don't think he likes me the way I like him."

"So ask him."

"I can't just ask him. What if he says no? I won't be able to hang out with him anymore. Which would mean we couldn't do iCarly anymore."

"Well, what if he says yes?"

"But I don't know what he'll say."

"Want me to ask him?"

"Would you?"

"Sure."

"Okay. You can't let him know that I want to know. You have to ask out of your own curiosity."

"Don't worry. I'll be subtle. I'll ask him during math today."

The bell for first period rang and the girls left the bathroom. Sam headed to science class. Carly and Freddie were already there. Sam walked past Freddie's table to her seat next to Carly.

Carly leaned over to her. "I think he's going to make us dissect something today."

"Uh, cool," Sam replied.

"Well, I thought you'd be excited about it."

"Yeah, just tired I guess." She turned slightly to peek at Freddie. He had been staring at her and quickly averted his gaze. Sam turned back around and smiled.

Mr. Henning passed out worms to each pair of students. Sam was not interested in doing any work, but Carly refused to touch the worm so she had to participate. She had to make precise incisions so she had to focus. It took her mind off of Freddie for awhile.

The class ended and they filed out of the room. Sam spent the next class daydreaming about Freddie. Before she was aware of the time, the lunch bell rang. She got her lunch tray and slid into a seat next to Carly. Freddie sat next to her. She gulped. He sat next to her at lunch every day, but it suddenly felt very awkward. She shifted uncomfortably.

Carly glanced at her. "Are you sure you're alright? You've seemed kinda off today."

Sam glanced sideways at Freddie who had taken interest in the conversation. "I'm fine."

Carly returned to eating her lunch, but Freddie continued to stare at her with a worried face. She gave him a stern look and he went back to his lunch without saying anything.

After lunch, they each headed to their separate classes. Freddie headed to calculus and took his seat. Wendy plopped down next to him. "Sup, Benson?"

"Hey. Um, isn't that Jake's seat?"

"Maybe. He'll get over it. I had trouble with number four on the homework. Help me out in case she collects it?"

"Sure." He pulled his notebook from his bookbag and flipped it to his homework. "Here. See, you have to take the derivative."

She pretended to copy down the answers into her notebook while he talked through it. "Thanks."

"Sure thing."

"So...I saw you and Sam together in the hall this morning," she said in a singsong voice.

He closed his notebook. "Um, yeah," he said slowly.

"Did you finally tell Sam that you like her?"

"What?"

"Did you tell her that you like her? Is that why you walked her to class this morning?"

"How did you know I walked her to class?"

"I saw you. Your homeroom is on the other side of the building. Sam is in my homeroom. I saw you walking with her."

"Uh. Yeah, but maybe we were talking about iCarly stuff."

"Carly wasn't there. And you basically just admitted you were walking her. So, again I ask, does she know that you like her?"

"Do you always know everything?" he asked amused.

She smiled. "Yep. You should tell her." Then she popped up and walked to her seat.

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	8. Chapter 8: Groovy Smoothie

Carly set smoothies down in front of them and set an extra one aside to take to Spencer.

"Ok, so what did you want to do?" Freddie asked.

Carly sat down. "Well, I was thinking about that time Sam asked people to send her money and we ended up with all those letters."

Sam looked away and nonchalantly sipped her smoothie.

Carly and Freddie both watched her.

"What?" she asked defensively. "I was poor."

They both rolled their eyes. "Anyways," Carly continued. "I was thinking that since our viewers were so willing to send in money that we could use iCarly to raise money for a charity. Something kid related. Like the Make A Wish Foundation or something. And I was thinking we could make it like a contest. Like whoever donates the most money could win an appearance on iCarly."

"I think that sounds great," Freddie replied.

"Sam?" Carly asked.

"Will it involve a lot of work on my part?"

Carly gave her a look of frustration. "No."

"Then I'm in."

"Cool. Freddie, would you be able to set up a Paypal account in case anyone wanted to donate that way?"

"Yeah, sure," he replied.

"Ok, sweet. We'll discuss the deets later. I told Spencer I'd get home to help him with his sculpture."

"What's he making?" Sam asked.

"Some cheese company saw his Mr. Toasty sculpture and asked him to make one for them. I think he's planning on using my head to shape a block of cheese."

"Cheese head. Delicious," Sam replied.

"Yeah, see you guys later," Carly replied and left.

An awkward silence lingered at the table. Then, simultaneously, they both said "I have to tell you something."

"You first," Freddie said.

Sam sighed. "Ok, so, um, I decided, I need to tell you that..." Before she could finish, Freddie blurted out, "I like you, too."

Sam looked stunned. "Uhhh..."

Freddie frowned. "That's not what you were going to say, was it?"

"Well, no. I wasn't going to say that. But..." Freddie perked up. "I like you too." She smiled. Freddie brightened. "You do?"

She blushed and slightly shrugged. "Yeah, I do."

"Oh," said Freddie, smiling. "So, what were you going to say?"

"Huh? Oh, right. I was going to tell you that I decided to go talk to someone about...about this," and she held up her wrists.

"Sam, that's great! That's a huge step."

"Yeah, but."

"What's wrong?"

"I don't wanna go by myself. Do you think you could come with me? At least for the first time?"

"Of course I will. I'll do anything if it helps."

"Thanks. Then can I ask you for another favor?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you help me tell Carly?"

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	9. Chapter 9: Revealing the Secret

Over the next couple days, Freddie and Sam had been secretly kissing in the hallways or whenever Carly would leave the room. Freddie started walking her to class every morning. Sam figured that since they had already been spending all their time together, these subtle changes in their relationship pretty much meant they were dating. She hated that they were going behind Carly's back, but she knew she wouldn't be able to tell her they were dating without Carly wanting to know how it happened. And she couldn't tell her how it happened without revealing her situation, which she still wasn't ready to do.

Freddie hated keeping a secret from Carly as much as Sam did, but he understood her reasoning. He wouldn't push her. He'd wait till she was ready. He had tried to reassure Sam that Carly would be nothing but understanding, but Sam remained unconvinced.

"I think it should be at Carly's apartment." Sam and Freddie were sitting in his bedroom Wednesday evening. "That way, if she freaks out, it won't draw a crowd. And, I can leave."

"She won't freak out." Sam raised her eyebrows at him.

"Well, she might. But she'll understand. She won't be mad."

"I don't know."

"She's your best friend. She'll probably be mad that you didn't tell her sooner."

"Yeah, maybe."

Freddie gave her an encouraging look and touched her hand. "You'll feel better once you tell her."

"I just want it over with." She sighed. "Okay. Tomorrow. After the show."

"Okay." He nodded.

The following evening the three of them met in Carly's living room.

"I'm going up to change and get ready," Carly announced.

"I'm nervous," Sam said. She began pacing the room and shaking her hands out.

"I'll be right beside you," he replied. He took her hand and pulled her towards him. He kissed her forehead and felt her body relax.

"Ok," she said. "Let's go do the show, then."

They headed upstairs and performed their webcast. Carly talked about their donation contest. They had decided on the Make A Wish Foundation for their charity. After they cleaned up their props from the show Carly announced she was going to check to see if they had any donation hits yet.

"Uh, Carls, before you do that..." Sam began.

"What's up?" Carly asked.

"I need to talk to you about something." Sam bit her lip and motioned to the bean bag chairs on the floor.

"Oh kay..." Carly sat down on a bean bag. Sam sat across from her and Freddie kneeled beside her. Carly gave him a strange look.

Sam took a couple deep breaths. She looked to Freddie for support.

"It's okay. Just tell her," he said.

"Tell me what?" Carly was looking very confused. "Sam, what's going on?"

Sam sighed and rolled up her sleeves. She turned her wrists over and held her arms out for Carly to see. Carly gasped. "Sam, oh my God! Did you do these to yourself?" Carly had taken Sam's arms in her hands and was examining her cuts.

Sam nodded sadly. Freddie put his hand on her shoulder.

"Sam, you cut yourself?" Carly asked again.

"I'm sorry," Sam replied and began to tear up. Freddie moved closer to her and wrapped his arm around her.

Carly stood up and crossed her arms. She looked at Freddie. "You knew about this and you didn't tell me?"

"Carly, it's..." Freddie started, but she cut him off.

"How long has this been going on?" she demanded.

"A while..." Sam said. "Freddie and Spencer found out and I made Freddie promise not to tell you."

Carly became infuriated. "Spencer knows too? Everyone knew but me? Sam, I'm _supposed_ to be your best friend!" She began to cry. "I can't believe you were slicing open your wrists and you didn't think to mention it to your best friend." She and Sam were both sobbing now. "Didn't you think I could help you? God damn it, Sam!" With that she stormed out of the studio leaving Sam sobbing hysterically in Freddie's arms.

"It's alright. Shh. It's okay," he said. "Let me go talk to her."

"No. She hates me! She swore at me! Carly has never sworn in her whole life!"

"She didn't mean it. She's just upset. Stay here. I'm going to talk to her."

Sam let him stand up. He kissed her forehead again before going to find Carly. He discovered her locked in the bathroom. He knocked. "Carly? Carly, let me in to talk to you. Please."

"Go away, Freddie!" she called through the door.

"Carly, I'm not leaving until you open this door. I will sit out here all night if I have to."

"Why?" she asked. "Go home!"

"It's important to Sam," he said.

"So! Since when do you care so much about Sam?"

"Since we started dating," he said matter of factly.

Carly swung the door open and stood there staring at him angrily. "What?!"

Freddie took a step back, afraid she might hit him. "Sam is my girlfriend. And she's your best friend. And she needs you. And you walked out on her."

Carly threw her hands to her temples. She walked past him. "I cannot believe this is fricken happening right now. Anything else you're not telling me? Any more secrets you guys are keeping? Huh?"

"Carly, it's not like that. We couldn't tell you we were dating till Sam was ready to tell you she was a cutter. She didn't want you to think badly of her. And it's not like she told me or Spencer. Spencer walked in on her while she was doing it and I just happened to be there." Carly looked at him.

"And she came over last Saturday after the mall and we talked and we talked about the kiss and then we kissed again and I don't know, we just sort of started dating. So I mean, it's not like a secret we've been keeping for months or anything. It's only been a few days." Carly softened her expression.

"Listen Carly. She already said she'd get help. But it'll be easier for her is she knows she has your support. You're her best friend in the whole world. You mean everything to her. She needs you."

These words seemed to hit home with her. "Okay. I'll go talk to her."

They walked back up to the studio. Freddie opened the door for her and she stepped in.

"Sam, no!" Her yell pierced the studio.

Sam had a hold of a pair of scissors and was ripping them through her skin. Freddie and Carly ran to her and tried to wrestle them away. Sam held them tightly but Freddie managed to get them out of her hands. His fingers were sliced open from the struggle. He threw the bloody scissors across the floor and stared down at her. Her whole arm was covered in blood and there was a puddle on the floor below her. Her jeans were also covered in blood stains. "Give them back," she yelled. "I need them!" She tried to reach for them but Freddie restrained her.

Carly wrapped herself around her neck and sobbed. Sam sat rigid and shaking. Freddie let out an exasperated sigh and knelt down to hug her. He took a look at her arm. The cuts were at least an inch deep. "We'd better get her to a hospital."

Carly didn't respond. She continued sobbing around Sam's neck.

"Just stay with her," Freddie said. "I'm going to get Spencer."

Spencer wrapped Sam's arm up and drove them to the hospital. Carly held Sam's hand in the backseat while Freddie rode up front. Carly tried to talk to Sam but she remained in a rigid trance. Spencer signed her in at the emergency room and Carly led her to a seat. Freddie sat at her other side. He tried to block the thoughts from his head about what might have happened had he and Carly not returned when they did.

The minutes ticked by until they finally called Sam's name. Carly helped her up and she began to walk with her. She looked back at Freddie and he told her to go ahead. He watched them disappear around a corner and then turned to Spencer. "We have to do something," he said.

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	10. Chapter 10: The ER

It was about an hour before Sam and Carly returned. Spencer and Freddie were seated next to Sam's mom and another woman. The four of them stood up and walked toward Carly and Sam. Mrs. Puckett embraced Sam and said, "Baby, I love you. But this is for your own good."

Sam looked confused. "What's going on? Whose this chick?" She gestured toward the woman with them.

The woman stepped forward. "My name is Carmen Haddock," she said. "Sam, I'd like you to come with me. There are some things we need to discuss."

"No way. I'm not going with you."

"Sam. She just wants to help you. Please go with her," Freddie urged.

"_You_ called her here?" She shook her head in disgust. "I thought you were my friend. You sold me out!"

"Sam, I am your friend. That's why I called for her. To help you. You need help."

"No. I'm fine on my own." She pushed past them and headed toward the door but was stopped by two security guards.

"We knew you'd try to run," Freddie added.

She looked back at him angrily. She looked at the guards and then tried to escape down the side hallway. They grabbed her and lifted her off the ground. She kicked and screamed. "Please, don't let them take me. I'll do better. I promise. Please! I'm sorry! Just don't make me go!" She kicked with all her might and one of the guards dropped his grip on her. She used this moment of freedom to attack the other guard. Three more doctors appeared to help restrain her. One doctor pulled out a syringe and stuck it in her arm. Her body went almost immediately limp and she passed out.

Carly sobbed as she watched the doctors put Sam on a stretcher and wheel her down the hall. Spencer put his hand on her shoulder. She brushed it off and turned on him. "Why did you guys do that to her? We could have helped her! I could have helped her!"

Mrs. Haddock answered her. "Carly, I know you're upset, but Freddie and Spencer did the right thing. Sam needs help. We'll help her."

"What do you know? You don't know Sam! She's strong. She could have handled it. But she needs her friends. She shouldn't be put away!" She stormed out of the hospital.

Mrs. Haddock turned to Mrs. Puckett and handed her a business card. "I'll be in touch," she said. "You're doing the right thing." Sam's mom nodded and Mrs. Haddock walked down the hall.

Freddie stared down the hall and Spencer clapped him on the shoulder. "She'll be fine. She can handle it. It was the right thing to do."

"Then why do I feel so awful?"

"Because you care about her."

"I think I love her."

"I think you do, too. C'mon, man. Let's go find Carly."

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	11. Chapter 11: A Letter

They found Carly sitting in the backseat with her arms crossed. She refused to speak to either of them and when they got back to Bushwell Plaza, she walked up the eight flights of stairs to avoid riding the elevator with them.

Freddie said good night to Spencer and headed into his apartment. He went to his room and slumped into his desk chair. The image of Sam pleading him to call off the guards flashed through his mind. He wished he could call her. He wasn't sure how much contact she would be allowed to have while in the hospital, but he was sure that even if he could call her, she wouldn't talk to him. There was so much he wanted to tell her though. He pulled out a piece of lined paper and began writing:

Sam,

Please don't rip up this letter. I know you're mad and you probably hate me for what I did. That's fine. You can be mad at me as long as you like. But please know I only did it to help you. I can't stand to see you in so much pain. It kills me to think what might have happened if we didn't come upstairs when we did. I don't know how far you would have gone. I do know that if anything had happened to you, I would never forgive myself. I realized something tonight. It hadn't occurred to me before. I love you. More than that even. I am _**in love**_ with you. I know because I realized that if I could, I would give my life if it meant you never had to feel any more pain. I would take your suffering for you. I wish I could. I know you're in a lot of pain right now. And I know part of that pain was caused by me because you feel that I've betrayed you. I hope, in time, you'll come to forgive me. But more than anything, I hope you accept the help the doctors try to give you. Please let them help you. Let them help you get better so you can come back to me. I miss you already.

Love always,

Freddie

He folded it up and put it in an envelope. He decided he'd take it to the hospital tomorrow and try to convince someone to get it to her. Then he turned off his light and crawled into bed.

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